Living on a Sofa

I got really excited thinking about camp again today. It will be so nice to go back one day- hopefully this year! Its strange but even though I haven’t been there for a few years now I know what everything feels like physically to the touch. How the air smells. Where everything is in the kitchen. The temperature and texture of the surfaces. The colours of the trees. The sounds of the bonfires. The mist on the lake when everyone else is asleep and you are all alone in the peace sitting on the dock. Its weird because I feel like I know that place more than anywhere else, like a home. And I only spent three summers and three falls there. My Mum has moved house literally every three years since I was tiny, so I guess in a way it makes sense therefore. I haven’t ever really been able to call one house ‘my home’. It’s a shame really- I was always envious growing up of friend’s houses that were real family homes. Filled to the brim with junk, and things, and books, and photos and pictures and memories. I’ve never had that. I hope one day I will be able to find a place I want to be for a long time. A place I am happy to stay and bring up my children and my pets and fill with my own stuff. A place where I will know where everything is and yet know where nothing is. A place where I can imagine the smell as you walk in and the creaks on the stairs and the little cubby holes- even when I’m not there.

I already have ideas of what I want in my house ('when I grow up'). I have kept posters of everything I have ever worked on- film and theatre posters- that I would like to frame and put up around the house. Like a collection of things I have worked my butt off on. Prized possessions include a humongous RocknRolla poster that I love and will cost the earth to frame and beautiful photos of my gorgeous friends in Dog in the Manger last year, Helen looking beautiful as ever in her moment of angelic grace and Margeret Thatcherness (yes apparently it is possible to achieve this). Maybe I won’t work in the industry forever- but it’s been one hell of a ride so far and I’m proud of the past three years or so. Speaking of which I need to get a Sherlock poster if anyone can help! I have huge paintings I have done that I would like to have somewhere to hang. I want my friend Krista to paint me a few more too- she is oh so talented. I have boxes and boxes of books I can’t bare to give away simply because I imagine having somewhere to put them all later in life, and re-read them at leisure, and pass them on to my kiddos. Like my Mum I would love to have a library...wishiful thinking but wishing none the less. God my home is going to be like one big scrap book! I’m really looking forward to all that. Although there is soooooooooo much to come before then. I’m in no rush. I guess I’m just thinking about all this stuff more now that I have nowhere to live at all! ARGH. I think I have so far, since xmas, made three different sofas my new home. That’s okay though, it gives me some freedom this year which I wouldn’t have otherwise. I’m already enjoying the idea that I don’t have to pay rent this month- it takes the pressure off a little I suppose. Next up- job please!