Coming full circle

So I went to see Avatar this weekend- Valentines Day spent with the sisters. What a wicked film. It really is incredible and imaginative and how the hell did they come up with some of that crazy Pandora shit. Amazing really. So I sat there in wonder for the whole thing. Not to sound cheesy, although I'm quite skilled at the old cheese factor (which someone kindly, or actually not so kindly, pointed out to me the other day) - but I liked the idea of everything being connected to everything else. If you take energy from something you will have to give it back. I thought that was a really good way to put it. Like the whole karma, what goes around comes around, stuff.

I'm forever missioning around, doing things for free, doing jobs that put money in my pocket even though I hate every minute of them. But it is true, and I learn it over and over again, that the more you put into something the more you get out of it. Like I wasn't particularly keen on taking this wardrobe job at Trafalgar Studios at first- partly because it was unpiad but mostly because it was time consuming. I have to be in early every day to do the washing, scrub arm pits, hand wash pants, hang things out to dry in time as the tumbler seems to make everything shrink to my size. Not ideal. Not particularly glamorous. But on the other hand, it is a great and prestigious place to be working, and will hopefully add to my various experience in this industry. Despite all these things, what I am actually discovering is that I am gaining heaps more than I expected. Like good friends, and good memories. The cast are really lovely and socially I am having a whopping great big whale of a time. Plenty of banter backstage and getting to know some new people make for a place that I'm starting to miss when Iam not here. So yes, the effort is going to be worth it for sure.

And that energy idea works in both negative and positive ways too. If you are nasty to someone they will probably be nasty back. Take my pound and I'll take yours. If you are kind and generous to someone they will, hopefully, be kind and generous back. I have just recently become 'sans boyf' again- after almost three years. And it is the first time in my life that things haven't turned sour. Not sure if its just a matter of 'growing up' or if it is because we have a good friendship at the foundations, but I think we both have realised that expelling negative energy on each other is fruitless and just hurts a bunch when it comes back to slap you in the face. And it stings like hell when not only does your boyfriend/girlfriend relationship end but your companionship crumbles and disappears to dust. So its been a pleasant break up- urgh if that is possible- but I just mean that it has taken less energy to just be sweet to each other. After all he is a wonderful, fun person and has been a great friend to me- I wouldn't want to lose him from my life at the sake of pride or fickle arguments over who is right and who is wrong. Its not worth all the exhaustion.

And what of the whole karma, coming full circle, shiz nit. Well I've drained my cup of tea and so now I will have to go fill it up again. Take and give. Give and take. Simple.